John Spartan on Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

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Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen has arrived and I am on the same boat as the critics. But being in the theatre where I watched the movie, you’d think that everybody loved the movie with audiences cheering loudly at the end. For those of you that hated the first movie, I’m pretty sure you won’t enjoy this one. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen comes just after two years since the first, and during the time of the writer’s strike (Is that why the story is all over the place?).

After a prologue, the movie starts with Optimus Prime and the Autobots teaming up with Josh Duhamel, Tyrese and the military in a special unit called NEST that are hunting down the remaining Decepticons on Earth. Meanwhile, Sam Witwicky (Shia Labeouf) goes to college for a normal life, but since he touched the remaining piece from the Cube, he starts to see ancient writings in his mind and this leads him, Mikaela (Megan Fox), his roommate Leo Spitz (Ramon Rodriguez) on a trip to Egypt. I’m going to assume most of you have watched it already, so the following will be spoilerific.

The main problem with the movie for me was the direction of the story and the treatments of characters. We had a cool premise of Optimus and gang searching out and destroying Decepticons, but once the story focused on Sam and his “visions,” throw everything that could be interesting out the window.

Again the fans get shafted because throughout the majority of the movie, we’re stuck with crappy Autobots and Sam’s relationship problems. There were plenty of cool Autobots like Ironhide, Ratchet, Arcee, or Sideswipe to choose from to give a lot of screen time, but Bay chose to focus on Bumblebee and the twins, Mudflap and Skids. Those three were about the most useless ever, since Bumblebee still can’t talk, and the twins do nothing but bicker against one another with cheesy ghetto lines like “busting a cap in you ass.” Sam’s roommate Leo also gets the award for dumb and pointless character. At least he gets tased.

Other things that urked me:
– Jetfire farting
– Testicles on Devastator
– Wheelie humping Megan Fox
– John Turturro’s ass
– Megatron coming back to life and can’t seem to handle Optimus, one on one
– What the hell was The Fallen doing all this time?
– Devastator being destroyed by a prototype “human” weapon
– Decepticons being easily killed by tanks

The one thing that really saved the movie for me was Optimus Prime and the ass-kicking he brings. Those alone make this movie worth watching for me. Optimus against Starscream, Megatron, and Blackout #2 is easily the best thing about this movie.

Other things that I enjoyed:
– Jetfire’s first appearance
– Megan Fox running
– Alice seducing Sam
– John Turturro’s appearance
– Megatron and Starscream’s feud
– Soundwave

After Revenge of the Fallen, it’s only going to go downhill from here with the release of G.I. Joe next month. Or is it?

Grade: C-

pixel John Spartan on Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

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