Legion is about a struggle for the fate of no less than the end of the world, but mostly it’s a boring slog from beginning to end. There’s a few quick, unsettling scenes (stuff you’ve already seen in the promising promos and trailers for the flick), but mostly there’s just poorly written babble about God hating humans, a mythical baby, and the end of the world. It’s almost bad enough to make you flee to a Sunday morning church service. Poorly acted and lit with what had to be flashlights, the low-budget Legion doesn’t possess many thrills or chills and will likely just bore its audience who wait in vain for some good gory kills or cool fight scenes.

Legion takes place at a run-down diner (one location= cheap movie to produce) where a bunch of overacting hams compete with bad accents and worse dialogue to help a woman deliver her baby and save the world from a vengeful God. God is upset because humans are destroying the planet and God is “tired of all the bullshit”, so He decides to speed up the apocalypse. Luckily, the premise makes almost no sense and is more ridiculous than offensive. The cliched group of non-actors mostly talk during a boring middle section while the audience waits for one scene of angels fighting at the very end. That scene is so poorly lit and edited that the viewer can’t even make out what’s going on. Legion features some good actors like Paul Bettany and Dennis Quaid who give some epic, bad performances. Bettany just broods and looks bored and Quaid’s hick accent is hideously awful. There’s no campy fun to be had.

Legion looked promising, but after seeing it on DVD, I’m glad I didn’t pay to see it in the theatre. There’s nothing scary or thrilling in this end of the world meets bible study by way of Stephen King end of the world flick. The only scary scene comes at the very end, with the threat of a sequel. The ending is scary enough to make anyone say their prayers.

Grade: D-

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