By now if you read any of my reviews on a character affiliated with the Snake Men, you’ll know that I am not a fan; but, I have to say, they would have made great comic relief characters because like Rattlor, Sssqueeze is just as fun and funny!
Sssqueeze is one heck of a figure…oh wait…
The figure comes packaged in the usual bubble.
The back of the card has some snakes and a bio—I forget what it says, you can read it yourself.
Ok…as I was saying, Sssqueeze is one heck of a figure; the detail is what strikes me as the most impressive part. Every scale is carved into the arms, and body. The head is just funny, it is almost like he is smiling—however, he also has a “bobble head,” it isn’t horrible, but it is loose, yet stays posed. (That is mine, others may have better).
Even on his back half, the detail is honestly great. He has non-removable armor, at least I couldn’t get it off; his leg detail with the spiked armor plates is just awesome and exactly how the original figure was.
Sssqueeze comes with a scepter-style weapon that is all purple, it is very close to the original; used in different ways, it helps keep him balanced, it can wrap up his arms if you don’t have a lot of display area left, and of course, he can club an enemy over the head for kicks.
The arms; the question of the day…very well made. The arms are actually bendy, they aren’t perfect, but they give a great amount of options for posing and squeezing his enemies. The wrists turn (the combination of his big hands and the wrist armor will articulate). The shoulders allow for normal rotation that every figure has and although he might be a bit of a strange figure, he is accurate to what he once was, just with far better detail. In the photo, the left arm is not touching the base surface, it is actually above it, so he does have good balance as long as you can find it; he is not bad with standing, but sometimes there are issues.
Its story time boys and girls; pull up a seat and watch the drama unfold!
Sssqueeze stands flexing his great long arms; looking dapper as always, he has his cane and is ready for a night on the town…
Suddenly, Sssqueeze falls to his knees and starts yelling sadly: “Why, why did I have to be born this way!!! I’m a freak! I can’t go to restaurants, I always knock everything over; I can’t go to the theater because my arms always end up in someone’s lap…nobody likes me, everybody hates me, I think I’ll eat some worms…yum, worms…sounds good…
In the midst of his sadness, along comes Double Trouble! Sssqueeze jumps to his feet and grabs the two-faced spy and cries; “I’m hideous and weird! No one likes me and my long arms!”
Double Trouble is surprised by the snake’s sudden outburst and says; “I feel your pain, I have another face that always looks to the dark of my helmet; and then when that face sees the light of day, this one has to look into the dark.”
Suddenly, there is a…uh…Screech overhead and Sssqueeze lets go of the surprised Double Trouble who pulls away and leaves the scene, she is heroic and can ignore her own personal pain, she needs to do something for Sssqueeze.
Dragon Blaster Skeletor confronts the snake man who grabs hold of the Evil Lord of Destruction’s sword…Skeletor says; “I hear you moaning all the way in Snake Mountain; you may have long arms, but do you have a skull for a face? Do you know how hard it is to get a woman when you look like this? I thought if I put on some fancy armor and carried a dragon on my back that the ladies would find interest…I can’t get Evil-Lyn to look my way, so stop complaining!”
Although Sssqueeze is still upset, he watches Dragon Blaster Skeletor leave for something new to appear…
Six legs and two bodies…two lasers…these guys are threatening?!? Multibot appears and both speak at the same time in an eerie echo; “You, snake; think you are a freak, but try having someone attached to you like we are now…We are an evil robot of a thousand bodies; we are rarely able to be who we are as single bots. We have no name, we are just the Multibot.”
Sssqueeze is unsure of what to say, after all he is being told by robots that he isn’t a freakish weirdo with long arms; does it really matter?
With near failure at hand, Multibot is called away and returns looking like a strange two-headed, quadruple armed steed being ridden by an evil Double Trouble; the visual impact is too weird for words and Sssqueeze just looks at the camera in awe; maybe he isn’t a long-armed freak, maybe he is just Sssqueeze, and he should be proud by who he is.
Buddies for life, although Double Trouble and Dragon Blaster Skeletor tried to cheer him up, Multibot was the only one who was really successful, they were stranger than him and so, he embraces them with his long arms.
Sssqueeze is a very well sculpted figure; I can’t help but to be impressed.
GRADE: B+ (Different issues from production keeps him from getting an “A” but, that doesn’t mean that I am not happy with him).
CLICK ANY PHOTO TO ENLARGE IN THE PHOTO VIEWER!
Be sure to check out Miss M’s review of Multibot, it will be awesome!
drabarni
Jun 21, 2015 -
Witty article. The cartoonish character lends itself to clever dialogue!