Game: Bayonetta
Publisher: Sega
Rated: M
Release Date: January 5, 2010

It’s been a while since a game has garnered such attention from its leading lady since Tomb Raider. Bayonetta has arrived from Purgatory and is ready to dance with the boys. Forget everything you know about witches (::cough::Sabrina::cough::), because Bayonetta kicks all sorts of ass while being ridiculously over the top and tongue in cheek. Just a heed of warning, if you’re one of those that don’t like their third-person 3d action games long and hard, then please, play Uncharted 2 instead (still an awesome game).

Her weapon consists of two guns for her hands, and two attached to her heels. But the main attraction is her magical hair, which her clothes is made of, and it can be transformed to create giant demons or giant fists. The more she uses her hair as weapons, the more revealing her outfit is. Her combos are fast, with a powerful finisher that unleashes a giant fist to the face or giant boot to the ass. If she has enough magic, she can conjure up torture devices, my favorite being a torture device that looks like a horse, where she plants a female angel on top of, and has her moaning in pain before she explodes into many pieces. And Bayonetta is going to need everything she has, since she’ll be faced with hordes of enemies trying to drag her to hell.

The coolest addition to the gameplay is the ability to dodge and turn on Witch Bullet. It’s a maneuver that allows you to dodge any attacks from an enemy and counter while everything around you is in slow motion, allowing for some damaging combos. Speaking of combos, you can purchase more moves at the Hell’s Gate store, along with new weapons and accessories. My favorite move is the breakdancing flare-like maneuver that has Bayonetta spinning her legs wide while shooting her guns from her heels.

What the game lacks in super detailed environments and realistic proportions on a woman, it makes up for in tongue-in-cheek humor and style. Bayonetta is out to have fun and you can see the developers had a great time making this game, like the scene with Luka, a journalist after Bayonetta’s trail, who is love struck and stares at the water droplets dripping from Bayonetta’s chest to the edge of her nipple. Very perverted, but I thought it was hilarious. And let’s not forget about the gratuitous close-up shots of Bayonetta’s rear, chest, and legs whenever we get a cut scene with her in it.

The levels vary from entering the lava pits of hell to the beautiful gardens of heaven. Bayonetta travels all over the world and can fight pretty much anywhere, from collapsing buildings to a giant whirlpool. She can also fight on the side of buildings, ceiling, on top of a moving missile, and while surfing (just like Shinobi 3).

The game’s so over-the-top and the music is no different. It takes a different approach by using JPop-sounding tunes for fighting music. It just shows you that Bayonetta does everything with ease and is always having fun.

Sorry Dante, you were fun while you lasted, but I’m seeing someone else now. No, it’s ok, you can have all your things back. Bayonetta has won my heart with her accent, attitude, and her sexy fighting style. Definitely a must you enjoyed games like Ninja Gaiden and Devil May Cry.

Game Playtime: 12 Hours on Normal (Yes, I died a lot)

Grade: A-

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