Nia Vardalos is a genuine success story. Her low-budget and charming movie “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” was a huge hit and launched her career into the stratosphere. Sadly, she’s had nothing but flops since. Trying to get by on that film by first milking it for an awful, short-lived spinoff series for television was her first big mistake. It doesn’t help anyone that the character she plays in I Hate Valentine’s Day named Genevieve is a borderline lunatic florist with relationship issues and a stupid rule that sets the idiotic plot into motion.
Genevieve is a florist with a strict rule about having five good dates then breaking up with a potential suitor. Her rule is put to the ultimate test when she meets a nice guy named Greg (an embarrassed-looking John Corbett). At the end of their five dates, Genevieve realizes her rule is idiotic (no kidding!) and wants Greg back, who of course, has moved onto other women at this point. The acting style is broad and Vardalos is particularly awful, hamming it up and bugging her eyes out like an escapee from a mental institution. The supporting cast is annoying and full of “quirky” people and stereotypes and the less said about the gay co-workers at the florist shop, the better. The DVD looks passable but becomes grainy at times for no apparent reason. Vardalos should leave directing duties to someone who knows what they are doing. The commentary is actually not bad, and we learn the movie was shot in 18 days. The problem is that it really shows on screen. It’s a rushed, unfunny mess.
I Hate Valentine’s Day is a lackluster DVD release for a terrible “romcom” that is best left on the shelf to collect dust. Nia Vardalos should take some time away from movies for a while and save her loyal audiences more pain and disappointment. I wouldn’t inflict this movie on my worst enemy.
Grade: D-
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