Well my friends the day has come, the first issue of Dan Slott’s Superior Spider-Man is out, a book that has since its announcement earned the hate of many comic book fans and after reading it… The hate has been pretty much justified.

First of all I don’t necessarily hate the idea of Doc Ock becoming Spider-Man, if done well (which its not) could be an interesting arc for the character, but two things bug me about the premise itself, firstly Marvel has a piss poor track record when it comes to deaths and/or changing the status quo of a character.

Every two years they hype up a new massive company wide renumbering and call it the new status quo, until the 5 yearly events change it into something else 6 months later and since they have this need to make anything like the movies it is almost guaranteed that by January 2014 Peter Parker will be back as Spider-Man.

My second problem is this doesn’t sound like something a whole new series should be based around, this premise of Ock becoming Peter Parker sounds like something that should have been done in a What If story and not something in the core 616 continuity.

But putting those two things aside, the issue itself wasn’t too horrible but it did prove a lot of predictions that people have about its future.

A new version of the Sinister Six team has appeared in New York and are attacking several of its key areas, Spider-Ock tries to fight them in the classic Spidey way of swinging into action and he seemingly just barely manages to get out of it in one piece, its later revealed that he allowed the team to escape on purpose so during their next battle he could fight them on his own terms by tampering with the area using all sorts of Horizon inventions to give him the advantage.

In the middle of this we see him enjoying Peters life by going out on dates with Mary Jane and as a true gentlemen doesn’t bother to listen to her at all because he likes the sound of his own voice too much and just stares at her chest the whole evening and during the final battle he goes to kill the last member of the Sinister Six only to be stopped by the ghost of Peter Parker……..

Do you remember Smallville? That horrible TV show where the superhero tries too keep a secret identity but fails at it completely and yet his supporting cast is so unbelievably stupid they still don’t notice? Well Spider-Ock acts completely out of character in and out of costume and yet NO ONE in the entire issue notices.

These aren’t small ticks that show up occasionally that give him away, he talks and obviously acts completely different from Peter and no one, not even Mary Jane notices this or comments on it, so Spider-Ock fails at acting and everyone around him have devolved into blind, stupid and clue less idiots.

That also brings into question just how the hell Peter’s memories and experiences effect his personality? He acts pretty much the same as he did as a bad guy but now the ghost of Peter Parker (im not kidding) subconsciously drives him to do good thins, like not rip a guy limb from limb with his new claws, that are never explained by the way.

So how has he learned anything about responsibility? Well it doesn’t matter because my theory that Peter will be back in anywhere between 6 months to a year has been pretty much proven this issue with two scenes.

While he’s in Horizon labs, Spider-Ock is studying the new Sinister Six and has a short conversation with Max who tells him that his inventions will give him much fame in the world of science, Ock immediately snaps because Parker and not Otto Octavious will get all the recognition for his work.

In the end when he tries to rip the last standing Sinister Six member into pieces, the ghost of Peter Parker stops him and starts talking to us the readers and says IM NOT OUT OF THIS FIGHT! PETER PARKER WILL RETURN!!! So Slott has already made his entire Spider-Ock story completely pointless in the first issue, at least he’s putting down the horse early before its true misery can begin.

And if you were one of those people who thought that Spider-Man is becoming too much like Batman with the new gadgets, inventions and back up plans made to take down specific threats, then this issue will confirm your worst fears, because not only does he act like Batman, he actually changes an entire playing field and lures the Sinister Six into it then proceeds to use a bunch of gadgets to take them all out.

This may be compensating for the fact that he cant fight at all as evidence in this issue, but that again brings into question if he has all of Peter Parkers experiences and memories, then why the hell cant he fight worth a damn?!

Is there anything good in this nonsensical and soon to be canceled series? Well the art I thought was pretty good and it perfectly fit Spider-Man, everyone was well drawn and the new costume I actually kinda like.

Everything else is just a bunch of nonsensical bullshit that pretty much confirms what every comic book reader knows, goes back on everything Dan Slott had done as well as everything Marvel said all in one single issue! That’s gotta be a record.

If you really need a good Spider book to read, then check out Scarlet Spider by Chris Yost a man who actually gives a damn about the character he’s writing and genuinely loves the web head based characters; come back in 2014 when Peter returns and all will be well with the world….. Until Slott announces One More Day 2 and starts World War 3.

Final Verdict: F+

 

• Tweet